tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
