yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
