I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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