I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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