i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
