Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
