He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
