Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
