Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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