So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
