Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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