i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
