I'm so fucking centered right now
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Also, beer. Big fan.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
