drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
