Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
