Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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