i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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