No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
