Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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