they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
