dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
