Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
