I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
