Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
