Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
