Got a toothbrush?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
