i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
