Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
