My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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