she was so not down for the gang bang
Plan B is the new Plan A
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
