I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
