If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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