Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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