That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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