it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
