K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
