yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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