Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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