This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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