There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So much Jack, so little girl.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
