I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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