Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it's not cheating when I paid for it
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
