i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
