He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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