Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
