I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
