You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
