Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Everything about him screamed your future.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
