i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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