I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I've blown a few things in my day
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
