I molested 6 butterflies tonight
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she looked like the before picture.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
