You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
