i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it glows. i had to have it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He's on the porch naked. Help.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
